GRYYYY
Think of words ending in "gry." Angry and hungry are two of them. There are only three words in the English language. What is the third word? The word is something that everyone uses every day. If you have listened carefully, I have already told you what it is.
Dirt
How much dirt is there in a hole in the ground that's two feet wide, three feet long, and four feet deep?
Burry Him There!!
Is it legal for a man living west of the Mississippi River to be buried east of the Mississippi River?
Fire
If you had one match and entered a room in which there were a kerosene lamp, an oil burner, and a wood burning stove, which would you light first?
Smoky
An electric train is traveling northwest at 95 miles per hour, and the wind is blowing southwest at 95 miles per hour. In which direction does the smoke blow?
Bus Driver
You are a bus driver. At the first stop of the day, eight people get on board. At the second stop, four get off, and eleven get on. At the third stop, two get off, and six get on. At the fourth stop, thirteen get off, and one gets on. At the fifth stop, five get off, and three get on. At the sixth stop, three get off, and two get on. What color are the bus driver's eyes?
WET
Three large people tries to crowd under one small umbrella. Nobody got wet. How was this possible?
School Bell
When teacher says 'The bell doesn't dismiss, you the teacher does', does that mean that
the bell doesn't dictate whether I'm late to school but the teacher does???
- Grace
The Same
Take away my first letter, and I still sound the same. Take away my last letter, I still sound the same. Even take away my letter in the middle, I will still sound the same. I am a five letter word. What am I?
PINK!!!
In a one-story pink house, there was a pink person, a pink cat, a pink fish, a pink computer, a pink chair, a pink table, a pink telephone, a pink shower– everything was pink! What color were the stairs?
Blind Flying
All the passengers are seated on a plane out on the tarmac and the stewardess announces “We’re just waiting for the pilots.”. The passengers look out the window and see two men, dressed as pilots walking towards the plane. Both men are using guide dogs and appear to be blind. There are murmurs among the passengers, and some believe it is a joke. The men board the plane and go into the cockpit. More concerned murmurs and uneasy chuckles from the passengers. The plane taxis normally to the runway and begins it’s takeoff. As passengers look out the window they realize they are nearing the end of the runway. The entire passenger cabin begins screaming but the plane lifts off just before the end of the runway. The passengers calm down and chuckle to themselves. In the cockpit, the pilot turns to his copilot and says “You know, one day those people are gonna scream too late and we’re all gonna die!”
Croak
A six-year-old goes to the hospital with his grandma to visit his grandpa. When they get to the hospital, he runs ahead of his grandma and bursts into his grandpa's room. "Grandpa, Grandpa!" he says excitedly, "As soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!" "What?" said his grandpa. "Make a noise like a frog because Grandma said that as soon as you croak, we're going to Disneyland!!!"
Whisper
A Mother took her little boy to church
While in Church, the little boy said,
"Mommy, I have to pee"
The mother said to the little boy
"It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So from now on, whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me you have to 'whisper'."
The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father.
During the service, he said to his father,
"Daddy, I have to whisper."
The father looked at him and said,
"Okay, just whisper in my ear."
While in Church, the little boy said,
"Mommy, I have to pee"
The mother said to the little boy
"It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So from now on, whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me you have to 'whisper'."
The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father.
During the service, he said to his father,
"Daddy, I have to whisper."
The father looked at him and said,
"Okay, just whisper in my ear."
Teacher's Pet
On the last day of
kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. The
florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She held up the box and said, "I
bet it's some flowers!" "That's right!" shouted the little boy.
Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held up
the box and said, "I bet it's some chocolates!" "That's
right!" shouted the little girl. The next gift was from the liquor store
owner's son. The teacher held up the box and saw that it was leaking. She touched
a drop with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy answered. The teacher touched another drop to her
tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy
answered. "What is it?" she said. "A puppy!"
Nickels and Dimes
John is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer John his choice between a nickel and a dime -- John always takes the nickel. One day, after John takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "John, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?" John grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"
Ace it!!!
Last semester I took macroeconomics and didn't have a clue what I was doing (as cited on the final exam). There were 80 multiple choice questions. For some reason I decided to play the game of probability and choose the letter "A" for everything. In that game, the only thing probable was that I failed. The following day, the professor asked to see me after class. "Is everything okay?" "Sure," I said, "why? "Well, here's your test," he said and handed me a piece of paper that was covered with red ink. "Can you explain why you chose an 'A' for everything?" Knowing that there was nothing I could do at this point, I said, "Well, I've always wanted to be an 'A' student."
Einstein
Albert Einstein used to go to dinners where he was invited to give a speech. One day, on his way to one of those dinners, he told his chauffeur (who looked exactly like him) that he was dead tired of giving the same speech, dinner after dinner. "Well," said the chaffeur, "I've got a good idea. Why don't I give the speech since I've heard it so many times?'' So Albert's chauffeur gave the speech perfectly and even answered a few questions. Then, a professor stood up and asked him a really tough question about anti-matter which the chauffeur couldn't answer "Sir, the answer to your question is so easy that I'll let my chauffeur answer it!"
I have Nothing
I can fly but I have no wings. I can cry but I have no eyes. Wherever I go, darkness follows me. What am I?
GET IN!
I like to twirl my body but keep my head up high. After I go in, everything becomes tight. What am I?
ANSWERSSS!!!
Got any solution. If you are the genius who is smart enough to answer these questions, answer them in the comment. Let's make it interactive! :)
I'm Birdman
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Conquer UR Fears...
Wilfred had just learned his abc's and was very scared of doing them in front of the class. The teacher, though, told him that the best way to conquer his fears would be to just go ahead and do it. So, trembling, he stood in front of the class and began. "ABCDEFGHIJLKMNOQRSTUVWXYZ." "Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot the P. Where's the P? "It's running down my leg."
Riddle Me This
For some I go fast
For others I'm slow
To most people, I'm an obsession
Relying on me is a well practiced lesson
WHAT AM I???
BATH TIME, over...
You have filled a huge bath tub with water. You are ready to go. Then you realised that your house had a shower. You regret in disbelief and a pinch of sadness. Now, you have a tablespoon, a fork and a knife. Using which utensil will you use to dry the tub?
Haha! Laughter
Three brothers wanted to give their blind mom a birthday gift. The first got her a big beautiful house. The second got her a brand new luxury vehicle with a driver. The third got her a talking parrot to keep her company. When they all got together, they wanted to know which gift she liked best. She said they were all great but she thanked her third son because she liked the chicken dinner best.
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Joke of the Day
There were 2 brothers. One was named 'Mine Your Own Business' and the other was named 'Trouble'. One day, the 2 boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to 100. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a policeman approached him and asked, "What are you doing?". "Playing a game," the boy replied. "What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business." Furious, the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" The Boy replies, "Why, yes."
Starting a blog
Hey guys! We decided to create a blog on jokes and riddles! (like that's not obvious)
When I suggested the idea, I was kind of wondering how we're gonna pull this out since, well, we're going to have to post something everyday, and I wondered as to,
- HOW we are supposed to be funny every day???
Anyways, we're going to be posting hilarious (and cheesy) jokes as well as riddles that will get your brains stumped from thinking of the answer!!!
Hope you enjoy! Have FUN!
When I suggested the idea, I was kind of wondering how we're gonna pull this out since, well, we're going to have to post something everyday, and I wondered as to,
- HOW we are supposed to be funny every day???
Anyways, we're going to be posting hilarious (and cheesy) jokes as well as riddles that will get your brains stumped from thinking of the answer!!!
Hope you enjoy! Have FUN!
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