Rudolph the Red Nose Raindeer

A man and his wife were sitting at a table by the window. The man's name is Rudolph, and since he was Russian, people call him "Rudolph the Red." Rudolph looked out the window and said to his wife, "Oh look honey, it's raining outside." She looks out as well and said, "No, I think that  is snow." He looks at her and said, "Rudolph the Red knows rain dear."

Defense, Detail, Defeat

A school teacher asked her 6th grade class to construct a sentence with the words: defense, detail, and defeat.
There was a pause before a pupil raised his hand and said he could make a sentence with them;
"The cow jumped over defense and detail went over defeat."

Give it to me straight, Doc.

A man hasn't been feeling well so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterwards, the doctor came out with the results.
"I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor said. "You're dying and you don't have much time left."
"Oh, that's terrible!" said the man. "Give it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?"
"Ten," the doctor said sadly.
"Ten?" the man asked, "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!"
"Nine..."