Poor old Bob sent his photograph off to a Lonely Hearts Club.
They sent it back saying they weren’t that lonely
Big Fan
Q: What did the windmill say when she met her favorite movie star?
A: "Nice to meet you, I'm a BIG FAN!"
A: "Nice to meet you, I'm a BIG FAN!"
Vanishing Cream
During a dinner party, the host' 2 little kids entered the dining room totally naked and walked slowly around the table. The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept the conversation going. The guest cooperated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening.
After going all the way around the room, the children left, and there was a moment of silence at the table, during which one of the kid was heard to say, "You see, it is vanishing cream!"
After going all the way around the room, the children left, and there was a moment of silence at the table, during which one of the kid was heard to say, "You see, it is vanishing cream!"
Bull's Ride
Hoss rode into town to buy a bull. Unfortunately, when he bought it, he was left with one dollar.
Hoss needed to tell his wife to come with the truck and get the bull, but telegrams cost one dollar per word.
Hoss said to the telegram man,"OK. I have my one word-'comfortable'."
Why do you want to tell her that?” asked the telegram man.
"Oh, she's not the best reader," Hoss said. "She'll read it really slowly". (Com-for-ta-ble, get it?)
Hoss needed to tell his wife to come with the truck and get the bull, but telegrams cost one dollar per word.
Hoss said to the telegram man,"OK. I have my one word-'comfortable'."
Why do you want to tell her that?” asked the telegram man.
"Oh, she's not the best reader," Hoss said. "She'll read it really slowly". (Com-for-ta-ble, get it?)
Memory Clinic
Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other,” Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"
"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great."
"That's great! And what was the name of the clinic?"
Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember.
Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"
"You mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?"
"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great."
"That's great! And what was the name of the clinic?"
Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember.
Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"
"You mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?"
Dinner Party
During a dinner party, the hosts’ two little children entered the dinning room totally nude and walked slowly around the table.
The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept he conversation going.
The guests cooperated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening.
After going all the way around the room, the children left, and there was a moment of silence at the table, during which one child was heard to say, “You see, it is vanishing cream!”
The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept he conversation going.
The guests cooperated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening.
After going all the way around the room, the children left, and there was a moment of silence at the table, during which one child was heard to say, “You see, it is vanishing cream!”
Information and Letters
If it's information you seek, come and see me.
If it's pairs of letters you need, I have consecutively three
Who am I???
If it's pairs of letters you need, I have consecutively three
Who am I???
Will and Fortune
A man is writing his will and wants to leave everything he has to one of his two sons, whichever one is more dedicated. To decide which one will win the fortune, he gives them each a car and tells them that whoever's car passes the finish line he has sat up last will get everything he has.
After a month of both sons refusing to cross the line, they finally go to their uncle tor advice. They both leave their uncle's house in a hurry and race to the finish line as fast as they.
What advice did their uncle give them?
After a month of both sons refusing to cross the line, they finally go to their uncle tor advice. They both leave their uncle's house in a hurry and race to the finish line as fast as they.
What advice did their uncle give them?
Thin and Thick
No thicker than your finger when it folds. As thick as what it’s holding when it holds. What am I?
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