Six Letter
You’ll have this six-letter word at night and if you remove the first letter it denotes the top, such as on a train. What is the word?
Something-or-other
I have heard of a something-or-other, growing in its nook, swelling and rising, pushing up its covering. Upon that boneless thing a cocky-minded young woman took a grip with her hands; with her apron a lord's daughter covered the tumescent thing. What is it?
Pick Pocketing
A pick pocket was pronounced guilty and sentenced to 8 months jail term with an option of $200 fine by the judge.
His defense lawyer knowing that his client could not pay the fine, pleaded with the judge asking; “Your honor, my client can only afford $50, but if you allow him a few minutes in the crowd …
His defense lawyer knowing that his client could not pay the fine, pleaded with the judge asking; “Your honor, my client can only afford $50, but if you allow him a few minutes in the crowd …
Dominoes
You have an 8 by 8 chess board that has two corner squares diagonal from each other removed.
Is there any way to place 31 dominoes of size 2x1 to cover the remaining 62 spaces?
Is there any way to place 31 dominoes of size 2x1 to cover the remaining 62 spaces?
Several Kinds
There are several different kinds, but the one you pick doesn't do its job. What is it?
Going Fishing
Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines, and reeled in their catch.
A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.
“Oh yes” he said. “They ‘re my friends.”
“In that case,” warned the officer, “you’d better get them out of here!”
“Yes, sir” the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.
A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.
“Oh yes” he said. “They ‘re my friends.”
“In that case,” warned the officer, “you’d better get them out of here!”
“Yes, sir” the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.
Hearing Problem
An old man is afraid that his wife is loosing her hearing. So, he walks up right to her ear and asks, "Can you hear me?" She didn't answer.
He walked up closer and asked again. But there was no answer.
Finally he asked her one more time really loud and his wife said, "For the third time, YES!!!"
He walked up closer and asked again. But there was no answer.
Finally he asked her one more time really loud and his wife said, "For the third time, YES!!!"
Sun is High
You’ll see me when the sun is high and also late at night,
I’m in the songs of holidays, when the snow is white,
Kings and Queens and royalty, are all found in me,
I’m the largest of them all, with just one you see,
Step by step with pounding feet, I’m tribes of angry men,
I’m above your hands right now, for help or to go again,
You’ll use me in the kitchen, or add a little more,
I’ll be in the years to come, and the days of yore. What am I?
I’m in the songs of holidays, when the snow is white,
Kings and Queens and royalty, are all found in me,
I’m the largest of them all, with just one you see,
Step by step with pounding feet, I’m tribes of angry men,
I’m above your hands right now, for help or to go again,
You’ll use me in the kitchen, or add a little more,
I’ll be in the years to come, and the days of yore. What am I?
My Goat
There were these two guys out hiking when they came upon an old, abandoned mine shaft. Curious about its depth they threw in a pebble and waited for the sound of it striking the bottom, but they heard nothing.
They went and got a bigger rock, threw it in and waited. Still nothing. They searched the area for something larger and came upon a railroad tie. With great difficulty, the two men carried it to the opening and threw it in.
While waiting for it to hit bottom, a goat suddenly darted between them and leapt into the hole!
The guys were still standing there with astonished looks upon their faces from the actions of the goat when a man walked up to them. He asked them if they had seen a goat anywhere in the area and they said that one had just jumped into the mine shaft in front of them!
The man replied, "Oh no. That couldn't be my goat, mine was tied to a railroad tie."
They went and got a bigger rock, threw it in and waited. Still nothing. They searched the area for something larger and came upon a railroad tie. With great difficulty, the two men carried it to the opening and threw it in.
While waiting for it to hit bottom, a goat suddenly darted between them and leapt into the hole!
The guys were still standing there with astonished looks upon their faces from the actions of the goat when a man walked up to them. He asked them if they had seen a goat anywhere in the area and they said that one had just jumped into the mine shaft in front of them!
The man replied, "Oh no. That couldn't be my goat, mine was tied to a railroad tie."
Dark Reading
Jim and his wife Patty were sitting in bed together one evening while a thunderstorm raged outside. After a bolt of lightning followed by a loud clap of thunder, the lights went out. Jim stopped reading and went to sleep, but Patty continued reading without using any device with batteries. How did she do it?
Worst Day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for a half hour. Then a big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, & just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that," the man replies, wiping his tears, "This day is the worst of my life. First, I oversleep & I go in late to my office. My outraged boss fires me. When I leave the building to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to go home, & when I get out, I remember I left my wallet. The cab driver just drives away. I go inside my house where I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave my home, come to this bar, & just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up & drink my poison."
The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that," the man replies, wiping his tears, "This day is the worst of my life. First, I oversleep & I go in late to my office. My outraged boss fires me. When I leave the building to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to go home, & when I get out, I remember I left my wallet. The cab driver just drives away. I go inside my house where I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave my home, come to this bar, & just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up & drink my poison."
Cute Names
Tom was invited to his friend’s house for dinner. He found that his buddy called his wife every cute name in the book: honey, darling, sweetheart, pumpkin, and baby.
When she was in the kitchen, he leaned over to his friend and said, “I think it’s nice you still call your wife all those pet names.” “To tell you the truth,” his friend said, “I forgot her name abut three years ago.”
When she was in the kitchen, he leaned over to his friend and said, “I think it’s nice you still call your wife all those pet names.” “To tell you the truth,” his friend said, “I forgot her name abut three years ago.”
My Dog
A man was checking into a hotel when he saw a golden retriever sitting on a rug near the hotel elevator. Talking to the man behind the desk, he asked, "Does your dog bite?" The attendant said, "No, he doesn't." But as the man let his hand down to pat the dog, it bit his hand and held on so tightly that the man had to throw him across the room.
Returning to the desk, the man said, "I thought you said that your dog didn't bite." He directed the attendant's attention to the dog, who now had returned to the rug. The attendant simply answered, "My friend that is NOT my dog."
Returning to the desk, the man said, "I thought you said that your dog didn't bite." He directed the attendant's attention to the dog, who now had returned to the rug. The attendant simply answered, "My friend that is NOT my dog."
Baseball Hole
A little boy knocks at the door and tells the owner that something of his had found its way into her garage, and he wanted it back. The homeowner opened the garage and noticed two additions; a baseball and broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole.
“How do you suppose this ball got in here?” she asked the child. Taking one look at the ball, one look at the window, and one look at the homeowner, the little boy exclaimed, “Wow lady! I must have thrown it right through that hole!”
“How do you suppose this ball got in here?” she asked the child. Taking one look at the ball, one look at the window, and one look at the homeowner, the little boy exclaimed, “Wow lady! I must have thrown it right through that hole!”
Cannot Drink
Has a mouth, but cannot drink.
Has a head, but cannot think.
Has a tongue, but not a lung.
Some are held and some are hung.
What Am I?
Has a head, but cannot think.
Has a tongue, but not a lung.
Some are held and some are hung.
What Am I?
Poor old Bob
Poor old Bob sent his photograph off to a Lonely Hearts Club.
They sent it back saying they weren’t that lonely
They sent it back saying they weren’t that lonely
Big Fan
Q: What did the windmill say when she met her favorite movie star?
A: "Nice to meet you, I'm a BIG FAN!"
A: "Nice to meet you, I'm a BIG FAN!"
Vanishing Cream
During a dinner party, the host' 2 little kids entered the dining room totally naked and walked slowly around the table. The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept the conversation going. The guest cooperated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening.
After going all the way around the room, the children left, and there was a moment of silence at the table, during which one of the kid was heard to say, "You see, it is vanishing cream!"
After going all the way around the room, the children left, and there was a moment of silence at the table, during which one of the kid was heard to say, "You see, it is vanishing cream!"
Bull's Ride
Hoss rode into town to buy a bull. Unfortunately, when he bought it, he was left with one dollar.
Hoss needed to tell his wife to come with the truck and get the bull, but telegrams cost one dollar per word.
Hoss said to the telegram man,"OK. I have my one word-'comfortable'."
Why do you want to tell her that?” asked the telegram man.
"Oh, she's not the best reader," Hoss said. "She'll read it really slowly". (Com-for-ta-ble, get it?)
Hoss needed to tell his wife to come with the truck and get the bull, but telegrams cost one dollar per word.
Hoss said to the telegram man,"OK. I have my one word-'comfortable'."
Why do you want to tell her that?” asked the telegram man.
"Oh, she's not the best reader," Hoss said. "She'll read it really slowly". (Com-for-ta-ble, get it?)
Memory Clinic
Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other,” Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"
"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great."
"That's great! And what was the name of the clinic?"
Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember.
Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"
"You mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?"
"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great."
"That's great! And what was the name of the clinic?"
Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember.
Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"
"You mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?"
Dinner Party
During a dinner party, the hosts’ two little children entered the dinning room totally nude and walked slowly around the table.
The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept he conversation going.
The guests cooperated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening.
After going all the way around the room, the children left, and there was a moment of silence at the table, during which one child was heard to say, “You see, it is vanishing cream!”
The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept he conversation going.
The guests cooperated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening.
After going all the way around the room, the children left, and there was a moment of silence at the table, during which one child was heard to say, “You see, it is vanishing cream!”
Information and Letters
If it's information you seek, come and see me.
If it's pairs of letters you need, I have consecutively three
Who am I???
If it's pairs of letters you need, I have consecutively three
Who am I???
Will and Fortune
A man is writing his will and wants to leave everything he has to one of his two sons, whichever one is more dedicated. To decide which one will win the fortune, he gives them each a car and tells them that whoever's car passes the finish line he has sat up last will get everything he has.
After a month of both sons refusing to cross the line, they finally go to their uncle tor advice. They both leave their uncle's house in a hurry and race to the finish line as fast as they.
What advice did their uncle give them?
After a month of both sons refusing to cross the line, they finally go to their uncle tor advice. They both leave their uncle's house in a hurry and race to the finish line as fast as they.
What advice did their uncle give them?
Thin and Thick
No thicker than your finger when it folds. As thick as what it’s holding when it holds. What am I?
Hear a lot, Say a lot
I hear a lot
And I say a lot
Few ever look for me
And even fewer ever hear me I hide in plain sight
Whether its day or night
To help is all I want
But most like to bend me
And as if they had a wand
Never again shall anyone find me
They do this to control
Without realizing the high price of a soul
But when I’m least expected
They’d rather be protected
For there shall be no place to hide
What am I?
And I say a lot
Few ever look for me
And even fewer ever hear me I hide in plain sight
Whether its day or night
To help is all I want
But most like to bend me
And as if they had a wand
Never again shall anyone find me
They do this to control
Without realizing the high price of a soul
But when I’m least expected
They’d rather be protected
For there shall be no place to hide
What am I?
Politicians
There is a party of 100 high-powered politicians. All of them are either honest or liars.
You walk in knowing two things:
- At least one of them is honest.
- If you take any two politicians, at least one of them is a liar.
From this information, can you know how many are liars and how many are honest?
You walk in knowing two things:
- At least one of them is honest.
- If you take any two politicians, at least one of them is a liar.
From this information, can you know how many are liars and how many are honest?
Loose Ends
You have a bag with 'N' strings in it. You randomly grab two ends and tie them together until there are no more loose ends. In the end, what is the expected number of loops (strings tied to their own end)?
Fell Down the Well
The Teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week.
Toby got up to read his. It began, "My daddy fell in well last week."
"Good Lord!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he OK?"
"He must be," said Toby. "He stopped calling for help yesterday."
Toby got up to read his. It began, "My daddy fell in well last week."
"Good Lord!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he OK?"
"He must be," said Toby. "He stopped calling for help yesterday."
Medicine
After the examination the physician handed the patient a prescription and said, "Take this medicine after each meal."
"But doc," confessed the patient, "I have not eaten in four days."
"Fine," said the doctor, "the medicine will last longer."
"But doc," confessed the patient, "I have not eaten in four days."
"Fine," said the doctor, "the medicine will last longer."
You've got mail!
A guy was running back and forth from his computer to his mailbox.
Then the mailman came up to him and asked him what he was doing.
The guy replied, "My dumb computer keeps saying 'you've got mail'."
Then the mailman came up to him and asked him what he was doing.
The guy replied, "My dumb computer keeps saying 'you've got mail'."
Rich Millionaire
A rich millionaire throws a massive party for his 50th birthday. During this party, he grabs the microphone and announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. "I will give anything of mine to the man who swims across that pool."
So the party continues with no events in the pool until SUDDENLY, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened. In the pool a man is swimming as hard as he can and fins come out of the water and jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going.
The sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and gets out of the pool, tired and soaked. The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, "I am a man of my word. Anything of mine I will give: my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?"
The guy grabs the microphone and says, "Why don't we start with the name of the jerk who pushed me in!"
So the party continues with no events in the pool until SUDDENLY, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened. In the pool a man is swimming as hard as he can and fins come out of the water and jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going.
The sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and gets out of the pool, tired and soaked. The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, "I am a man of my word. Anything of mine I will give: my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?"
The guy grabs the microphone and says, "Why don't we start with the name of the jerk who pushed me in!"
DOGSSS!!!
There were two buddies, one with a Doberman Pinscher and the other with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to his friend, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat."
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."
The buddy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "Just follow my lead."
They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses and he starts to walk in.
The bouncer at the door says, "Sorry, mac, no pets allowed."
The man with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye-dog."
The bouncer says, "A Doberman Pinscher?"
He answers, "Yes, they're using them now; they're very good and protect me from robbers, too."
The man at the door says, "Come on in."
The buddy with the Chihuahua figures, "What the heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.
Once again the bouncer says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bouncer at the door says, "A Chihuahua?"
The man with the Chihuahua says, "A Chihuahua?????? They gave me a Chihuahua?!"
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."
The buddy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "Just follow my lead."
They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses and he starts to walk in.
The bouncer at the door says, "Sorry, mac, no pets allowed."
The man with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye-dog."
The bouncer says, "A Doberman Pinscher?"
He answers, "Yes, they're using them now; they're very good and protect me from robbers, too."
The man at the door says, "Come on in."
The buddy with the Chihuahua figures, "What the heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.
Once again the bouncer says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bouncer at the door says, "A Chihuahua?"
The man with the Chihuahua says, "A Chihuahua?????? They gave me a Chihuahua?!"
Dissolved into air
I am the black child of a white father, a wingless bird, flying even to the clouds of heaven.
I give birth to tears of mourning in pupils that meet me, even though there is no cause for grief, and at once on my birth I am dissolved into air.
What am I?
I give birth to tears of mourning in pupils that meet me, even though there is no cause for grief, and at once on my birth I am dissolved into air.
What am I?
Correction
The teacher wrote on the board, "I ain't had no fun this summer."
'Now Paul," she said, "What shall I do to correct this?"
"Get a boyfriend," Paul replied.
'Now Paul," she said, "What shall I do to correct this?"
"Get a boyfriend," Paul replied.
Gray hair
A little girl was watching her mother do the dishes. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast of her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, " Why are some of your hair white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hair turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, " Mom, how come all of Grandma's hair are white?"
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, " Why are some of your hair white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hair turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, " Mom, how come all of Grandma's hair are white?"
Excellent Shredder
A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
Deaf Horse
A jockey is about to enter an race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!' really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine."
The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers "Aleeee ooop" in the horse's ear. The same thing happens - the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, "It's no good, I'll have to do it," and yells, "ALLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third. The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, "Nothing is wrong with me - it's this bloody horse. What is he - deaf or something?" The trainer replies, "Deaf? Deaf?! He's not deaf. He's blind!"
The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers "Aleeee ooop" in the horse's ear. The same thing happens - the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, "It's no good, I'll have to do it," and yells, "ALLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third. The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, "Nothing is wrong with me - it's this bloody horse. What is he - deaf or something?" The trainer replies, "Deaf? Deaf?! He's not deaf. He's blind!"
Congressman
A thief walks up to a man, pulls out a knife, and says "Give me all of your money."
The man, surprised, says "You can't rob me, I'm a congressman!"
The thief responds "In that case, give me my money!"
The man, surprised, says "You can't rob me, I'm a congressman!"
The thief responds "In that case, give me my money!"
Baseball Heaven
Two men, Tom and Joe, have loved baseball more than anything their entire lives.
One day Tom says to Joe, "If you die before me, promise me you'll come back and tell me if there is baseball in Heaven." Joe agrees and makes Tom promise the same thing.
About a week later Tom dies.
One night Joe wakes up to somebody calling his name.
Scared, he asks, "Who's there?"
Suddenly Tom appears and says, "Hi Joe. I'm coming here from Heaven. I've got some good news and some bad news. I'll give you the good news first, there is baseball in heaven!"
Joe gets very excited, but then he asks, "What's the bad news?"
Tom looks at him grimly and says, "I looked at the lineup and you're pitching tomorrow."
One day Tom says to Joe, "If you die before me, promise me you'll come back and tell me if there is baseball in Heaven." Joe agrees and makes Tom promise the same thing.
About a week later Tom dies.
One night Joe wakes up to somebody calling his name.
Scared, he asks, "Who's there?"
Suddenly Tom appears and says, "Hi Joe. I'm coming here from Heaven. I've got some good news and some bad news. I'll give you the good news first, there is baseball in heaven!"
Joe gets very excited, but then he asks, "What's the bad news?"
Tom looks at him grimly and says, "I looked at the lineup and you're pitching tomorrow."
NEW LOOK!!!
So how's the NEW look. Do you guys like it. Can't wait to here from you. Please leave comments down below about what YOU think, and don't forget to subscribe to receive daily riddles!
The Lifeguard
A lifeguard told the mother of a young boy to make her son stop urinating in the pool. "Everyone knows that from time to time, young children will urinate in the pool," the mother lectured him.
"Oh really? From the diving board?!"
"Oh really? From the diving board?!"
Pissed Lawyer
A woman goes to her lawyer and tells him, "I want to divorce my husband."
The lawyer says, "Do you have any grounds?"
She replies, "Yes, we have a few acres. But there's nothing valuable on it."
He says, "That's not what I meant, do you have a grudge?"
She replies, "Yes, that's where I park my car."
The lawyer becomes angry at this point, "Why do you want a divorce?!"
She replies, "We have trouble communicating."
The lawyer says, "Do you have any grounds?"
She replies, "Yes, we have a few acres. But there's nothing valuable on it."
He says, "That's not what I meant, do you have a grudge?"
She replies, "Yes, that's where I park my car."
The lawyer becomes angry at this point, "Why do you want a divorce?!"
She replies, "We have trouble communicating."
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)